Do We need a new Alibi ?

Let's take a look at this very familiar scene -->
Mean Boss (Yeah Yeah!! All Bosses are mean. But let's consider a typical mean Boss) : Where the F$#@ were you boy ?
The inscrutable Subordinate : I was ill Boss!!..
Boss : You one Lousy Son of a B**** !!!! You R Busted!!
.
.
I hate the look on my Boss's face when I take a Day off and tell him I was ill. I especially hate it when I am telling the truth, but can you blame him ?

Almost 99.99 % of employees say the same thing, no matter whether they took a day off to have that 'rare' date with the girl next door, or whether they are watching another lousy IPL match. In India, fake medical certificates are easier to get than drinking water. Thus, you can account for long holidays also.
But!
As I already mentioned, I hate that look on my Boss's face when I took a day off and I was genuinely blowing my nose on a tablecloth the day before. In spite of pondering over this idea over last couple of days, I am unable to come up with a new, fresh and improved Idea which would replace this 'Universal' excuse of "I was ill!"
..
Thoughts ?